Building New Relationships

Accept that recovery from a marital or long term relationship breakdown is usually slow. You are the best judge as to when the right time has occurred for you to start dating again . Decisions are now solely in your control.

Most people, regardless of how long they have been in a previous relationship feel a sense of trepidation at getting back on the dating scene. As a consequence it is often not planned but just happens without much thought. and you can find yourself falling for the same type of person and into the same relationship traps as before. If you take some time to think about dating and your future in a considered way you should have a better experience.

In this section you can find hints and tips on dating , making small talk , attraction and merging families .

You can also use the Newton Mearns Dating site to find your ideal partner.

Is Your Relationship Working Quiz

Having the clarity to see if your relationship is working can be hard when you are heavily involved. Use our relationship quiz as a quick guide - try doing the quiz as individuals and then comparing your results.

My Partner and I disagree about money:

1. Never 2. Maybe at Christmas when things get tight 3. Regularly 4. Every Day

My partner tells me they love me:

1. Every Day 2. Regularly 3. Maybe on Valentine's Day 4. They have never said it

My partner has been unfaithful:

1. Never 2. I'm pretty sure they haven't but I couldn't say for certain 3. Once about 5 years ago and we resolved it 4. He/She has had several affairs that I know of

When I get home from work I talk to my partner about:

1. My work day, how I feel, what is going on in my life - I talk to him/her about everything 2. The superficial work stuff and what is on my mind 3. What I need to get from the supermarket and how the kids are 4. We don't talk to each other very much at all

My partner has lashed out during an argument:

1. Never, there is no violence in our relationship 2. Never, although he/she has come close 3. Once - but we talked about it afterwards 4. It is a regular occurence

My partner and I spend time just being intimate with each other:

1. Probably several times a week, we like the close personal contact 2. We like hugging on the sofa at weekends 3. It's probably been a couple of months since we hugged or even kissed 4. I can't remember the last time we touched

When was the last time your partner told you they found you sexually attractive?

1. Yesterday! 2. Probably a week or so ago as we got into bed 3. He/she doesn't but I know from their reactions that they still fancy me 4. He/she has never said it and increasingly doesn't look at me or touch me

Do you have the same interests as you partner?

1. We share interests but we also support each other in pursuing other ones 2. We like to go to the cinema together 3. When we first met we did a lot together but it has now faded 4. We don't do anything as a couple and the idea isn't appealing

If someone asks you if you are happy in your relationship you say:

1. I'm very happy and work hard at my relationship 2. Things are ticking aong nicely and we love each other 3. We have rocky patches but we are getting on with it 4. I can't think of a positive thing to say so I avoid the question

If you express a view or opinion on a topic does your partner:

1. Listen to your view, show an interest and discuss it with you 2. Listen and pass the occasional comment 3. Half heartedly listen and rarely respond 4. Ignore whatever you have to say or dismiss it out of hand