Bereavement and Grief Resources Westminster

Anyone who is dealing with the loss of someone close to them is in need of support, and bereavement and grief resources like counsellors and other professionals can help. Read through the following articles to learn more about bereavement and grief resources and find local companies and providers who can help you find what you’re looking for.
Southwark London Borough Of Community Project Southwark Social Services Learning Difficulties/Mental
020 78200457
42 Braganza Street
London
South Kensington & Chelsea Mental Health Centre
020 82372000
Nightingale Place
London
Specialist Rehab Team
020 77405600
308-312 Brixton Road
London
Brixton Road Community Mental Health Centre
020 74112900
332 Brixton Road
London
Crossfield Mental Health Day Centre
020 76259042
8 Fairhazel Gardens
London
Tottenham Mews Resource Centre
020 75304400
1 Tottenham Mews
London
South London & Maudsley Nhs Trust
020 32286000
Maudsley Hospital
London
Tamworth Project
020 73865699
Farm Lane
London
Harambee Project
020 77037733
Camberwell Business Centre
London
Commnity Rehab Team
020 77383496
1A Dalbury House
London
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Bereavement & Grief Questions & Answers

FAQs

Here are the answers to the top 10 questions we get asked:

1. How do I tell someone I’m dying?

Telling friends and family that you have been diagnosed with a terminal illness is never an easy task. Decide to share the news when you are ready. Be as honest and open as you can with the people who are closest to you and are likely to be caring for you. Expect differing reactions – some will fall apart, some will be your closest support system. How you handle telling people is a very personal decision that only you can make, although how you deal with telling people can have a long lasting effect on your loved ones.

You can find more information in our Telling People section.

2. Is hospital care the only option at the end of my life?

No. You can have care in hospital, at home or in a hospice. It is often known as palliative care. Palliative care aims to give the best quality of remaining life rather than finding a cure for a life-limiting illness.

If you would like to explore your palliative care options then you should first talk to your doctor or a healthcare professional who knows you and your condition. The Patient Advice and Liaison Services (PALS) provide information, advice and support to help patients, families and their carers. You can find their details from your local GP or by looking on PALS .

You can find more information in our section on Palliative Care .

3. What is a living will?

If you have specific wishes about how you would like to be treated during your illness or at the end of your life then you should consider making a living will or advanced directive. Under UK law you have the right to decide what type of medical treatment you want to have or to refuse treatment. If you want to be clear about what you want in a legally binding way then you need to prepare a written statement.

You can’t instruct a doctor to do something that would mean ending your life such as giving you an unnecessary drug or fatal dose of medication this is known as euthanasia. Although you can refuse invasive treatment doctors will continue to provide basic care including cleaning you, managing pain and nutrition through oral means such as nasal tubes.

You can find more information regarding living wills here.

4. How do I plan a funeral?

Planning a funeral is a rare event in most people lives. Faced with making arrangements at a time when we are under emotional pressure makes the task more difficult.

A funeral is an event which is unique to the individual and by planning your funeral before you die you can ensure it reflects your personality, desires and needs. There are many different aspects to consider when planning a funeral and we have created a funeral planning checklist and a funeral expense calculator to help.

You can find more information here about different types of funerals here.

5. Do I need a...

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Dealing with the Death of a Partner

Death of a Partner, Husband or Wife

Dealing with the Death of a Partner | Wife & Husband Grief Losing your partner will have a significant impact on the rest of your life. You will no longer hold the title of wife, husband or life partner and are now known as a widower or widow. This change in status may leave you feeling uncertain, sometimes even stigmatised, perhaps lacking identity and emotionally vulnerable.

Many of the certainties in your life such as your future financial stability and level of responsibility can change dramatically. If you are nursing your partner through a terminal illness then you will experience the difficulties and emotional turmoil both during the illness and again on death. So how can you prepare for a future without your partner?
  • Discuss how you feel about losing one another with your partner. You have shared your feelings in your life together so it is normal to share your fears and feeling about death. You should still be able to lean on each other for support.
  • Continue to love one another to the end, although the dynamic of your relationship may change your love doesn’t have to.
  • Don’t blame your partner, it isn’t their fault. If you need to express your anger do it to friends or family who can cope with the emotional burden.
  • Even if a person is very ill, take the time to create situations which will create good memories.
  • Plan for a future without them – set some ‘single’ ambitions, this will give you a reason to move on when they are gone.
  • Be honest about your feelings. Don’t apologise for feeling angry or disappointed that this has happened to you.
  • If your partner dies after a long and painful illness, you may feel a sense of relief on death and it is perfectly acceptable to feel this way.
  • Give yourself time to grieve, both at diagnosis and on death. Putting on a brave face will only delay the grieving process. It will take time to adjust.
  • However difficult try to plan practical things in advance such as funeral planning and sorting out finances so you don’t have to start from scratch when you are dealing with a recent death.
  • Take practical help when it is offered – do whatever you can to lighten your burden.

Talking through your feelings can be very helpful. You can find help from your local GP or counsellors .

CRUSE runs groups for people who are grieving.

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Grieving the Death of a Loved One

The Grieving Process

Grieving the Death of a Loved One | Grief Advice & Counselling

Bereavement is one of the most stressful events you are ever likely to experience, with the death of a spouse considered the most stressful life event one can experience.

Dealing with the varying and sometimes overwhelming emotions when someone dies is very hard. Evidence shows that many people who ignore their grief often experience unresolved psychological issues and physical problems later. To be able to come to terms with your loss and carry on with your life you need to grieve.

Often we tend not to grieve because it is simply too painful and we would rather ignore the feelings. Some people feel embarrassed or think they should ‘pull themselves together’ or be ‘getting on with things’. Dealing with the emotions at the time, as painful as they are, is the beginning of the healing process.

The grieving process is very different for each person but most people experience similar stages . You will never forget your loved one but in order to move on you will need to reach the stage where you can accept their death. Getting to this stage very much depends on you, but it can take months or even years.

During this time you should seek out the help and support of family and friends. If you are struggling to cope with your feelings then you can find help from your GP, Cruse or the National Association of Bereavement Services 020 7709 0505.

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The Five Stages of Grief

Emotional Responses - The Five Stages of Grief

The Five Stages of Grief | Emotional Responses to Bereavement Research shows that there are common emotions and stages of grief experienced by those left behind after bereavement. Working through the stages is believed to be the best way to eventually find a sense of peace and acceptance.

The basic five stages in relation to death are Denial (They can’t have died), Anger (I can’t believe they died and left me or why has God taken them), Bargaining (If only I had stayed they might not have died), Depression (What is the point of carrying on?) and finally Acceptance (I’ve lost someone I love but I know I can move on). Elisabeth Kubler-Ross .

Emotional Responses

Immediately following a death we may be numbed by shock and sometimes be in denial, which appears to lessen the intensity of emotions we are feeling. It is quite normal not to ‘feel’ anything following a death; you can often have a delayed reaction.

Some people don’t deal with their emotions for days, months or even years after the death. Many people feel angry about death – they are raging about being left alone, angry that more could have been done or just a general sense of anger about the loss. You should not feel guilty about being angry – you have lost someone valuable to you and it is normal to feel a sense of injustice.

Quite often people move through the cycle of grief both before and after a death and bargaining can play a big part at both these times. Before the death occurs you may have a ‘chat with someone above’, you may promise to give up something if the person gets better. After the death you may castigate yourself for not doing more and think if you had they wouldn’t have died. Moving beyond this stage is vital if you are to reach acceptance, otherwise you will be burdened by a sense of unreasonable guilt.

Several months following bereavement, after you have moved out of the initial phase of all consuming grief, you may begin to experience a general sense of depression. You may find you are generally disinterested in life, begin to eat less or more, lack concentration and find yourself crying at random things.

When you are depressed it is very hard to keep things in proportion and you may become consumed by your thoughts and emotions. Although this stage is common, if you find yourself unable to perform normal everyday functions you should seek help from your GP – counselling and sometimes medication can help. You can read more about depression here

At some point you will reach a sense of acceptance about the death, this doesn’t mean you forget or stop caring. You may also return to earlier feelings of depression or anger from time to time but acceptance is about dealing with the emotions associated with the death so you can move on with your life.

If you try to ignore your feelings then moving through this cy...

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